And a saga it truly has been …

There has been a lot going on - some of which I shared with you, some of which I haven’t, but many of you are aware of anyway … and some that I’ve kept rather private …

The last time I gave everyone a real update was at the end of August when I ended up in the hospital. On September 23, I told you that there was a lot going on, and that once it was over, “I may have a real good story for you,” but that for the time being, I needed “to be a good little Moofie and keep a low profile.”

Well … here’s the promised story - plus some, since things didn’t end there. I’m probably going to have to write all of this out in several installments. Let me pick up where I left off …

Once upon a time there was a little Moofie …

… who really hated to have to leave her nice summer camp, and travel home for any reason whatsoever.

However, on Friday, September 7, about a week after my discharge from the hospital, I had to make a run home to get some lab work done. Whenever I have to go home from camp, I almost always make a day of it. If Dougie, my chef son, isn’t working, he and I will travel together, and pick up my Mother-in-law for a threesome. We then take care of whatever business is at hand, and once the duty is done, we treat ourselves to dinner in a restaurant. Home is only a minute or two from my Mother-in-law’s house, and I decided to stop there quickly to see if there were any phone messages to deal with, or mail to pick up. I was surprised to see a calling card balanced on the doorknob, and a bit wary when I saw it was from a detective from the local police department.

My first thought was: “Oh geeze! Darian’s in trouble again.” My oldest son has a long history of friction with the local police. They’ve nicknamed the “curbside lawyer,” and he’s nicknamed them … um, *cough* … never mind. I entered the house, and promptly called the police station to inquire about the card. They told me that there was a court date on the following Monday, and they wanted to deliver a summons. Darian’s apartment had been broken into, and many of his belongings destroyed earlier in the year; he was supposed to testify against the perpetrators. I assured the officer that I would give Darian the message before heading back up to camp.

I immediately went out to the barn. Yes, my son really did live in a barn. He’d made a little apartment for himself in the back of the barn, bought a furnace, a small fridge, and had things set up quite comfortably back there. During the winter, he was warmer in the barn than we were in the house. There was a big enclosed bay for working on his cars which was separate from his living room and bedroom, and a huge field just outside the back door, which was perfect for big loud parties with huge bonfires. His place was normally busier than Grand Central Station.

This time, it was ominously quiet … and empty. The door to his private area was wide open … and not a soul was in sight. Odd. Darian has a rather crippling case of paranoia; of course, he would be quick to tell you that it’s not paranoia, and that he has good reasons to think the way he does; to be sure, where some issues are concerned, he’s right. But, suffice it to say that he’s not one to run off and leave the door to his apartment wide open. I called out to him from the entry, but there was no answer. I made a mental note that he had the barn lights on although it was daytime, and felt irritation at his lack of concern for the cost of electricity.

Thinking that he might be in the apartment area asleep, I ventured into the work area … trying hard to not trip over the tools and the rest of the amazing mess which was scattered from one end to the other. He’d never been neat; in fact, my last communication with him had been a rather angry note left on what I could still find of the kitchen table, telling him to pick up his mess in the house. This was another story, however! It looked as if a compression bomb had gone off in there! I went into his “living room,” and saw that it had been ransacked … as was his bedroom. I shook my head in disbelief, and wondered what sort of party he’d had in there. It looked as if a pack of marauders had given the place a thorough going-over. Darian was nowhere to be found.

I returned to the house to write him a message, and then went back to thumbtack it to the open door. As I was doing that, I heard a car pull up to the front of the barn. Relieved, I called out his name - but a different voice than the one I was expecting hollered in reply. Darian’s good friend, Ryan, came through the barn’s large front doors, and made his way toward me with long strides. The conversation that ensued didn’t answer many questions … in fact, it only served to pile on more. Darian had made plans to meet Ryan there the night before, but hadn’t been there when Ryan showed up. The circumstances Ryan related were odd …

Darian had been working on Ryan’s truck, which sits in our yard to this day. Darian called Ryan from a store, and told him that he was in the process of picking up a brake cable, and asked Ryan to bring the brake fluid. They were supposed to meet at the barn at 10 PM. When Ryan got out of work, he went to the barn with the brake fluid, but there was no Darian … everything was wide open, things were upside down … just like it was when I saw it.

A sick, queasy feeling started rolling around in the pit of my stomach. As Ryan and I made our way out of the barn, he told me: “Don’t worry! Wherever Darian is, I’m sure it’s not a bad place.”

I replied: “Ryan, with the way Darian lives, that ‘bad place’ could happen any time.” Ryan’s eyebrows flew up, as he nodded in acknowledgment. To call Darian a risk taker … is to be mortally guilty of understatement.

We locked up the house, picked up my Mother-in-law, and ran our errands. After a nice dinner, and an otherwise pleasant afternoon, we ran back by the house to see if Darian had shown back up. Nope.

At that point, Dougie and I decided that we couldn’t leave the barn wide open, with all of the lights on. We went out there together, and started turning off the lights, as we gingerly picked our way through the disaster. As Dougie was shutting down Darian’s computer, I checked out a small box which was sitting on his bed, hoping to perhaps find a clue as to where he was. In the box was fresh food - a hamburger patty, several pieces of pie - the type you find in fancy restaurants, a loaf of bread, and a number of other ready to eat goodies. The hamburger patty was the only food item that needed cooking. It looked as if he’d brought the food in, left it on the bed, and never had a chance to eat it - or store it, although he had a little fridge in the very next room.

Fresh food on the bed, computer still running, all the lights on in the middle of the day, doors wide open … and missing an appointment he himself had made with Ryan the night before … something was wrong … badly wrong.

Fighting panic, I went back into the house and called the police. I asked if they had any information about Darian that I wouldn’t have known about (they didn’t,) and told them what I had found.

Did I want to report him as missing? No … not yet. I decided that I would wait until Monday. If he didn’t show up at court - a court we were all pretty sure he wanted to be present at - then that’s when I would report him missing.

We had a very busy week end. My childhood friend, Joanie, along with her Mum, came to spend the week end with me. Our original get together had been planned for the last week end of August, but on that Friday, Joanie had ended up in the emergency room, and had been admitted with a question of heart problems. On that Sunday morning, after a horrible night, I had been admitted through the emergency room for my own little problem. It was just one those things: our get together wasn’t meant to happen on that week end. We were both pretty wary of setting a new date, but our September 8 & 9 meeting worked out fine. On Sunday, my son, Daughter-in-law, and brand new grandbaby also came to visit … as did my Mother-in-law. It was wonderful to have them all there.

However, I couldn’t get my missing son out of my mind. A feeling of dread had settled on me like a layer of ash, dampening the joy of our little get together.

And that’s it for this installment. In the next day or so, I’ll pick up from here, and continue …

Here are some photos taken on September 9:

I’m sorry, but I can’t be silent. I just can’t.

Yesterday, my dear friend Dr. Flea took down his blog, and is retreating from the medical blogosphere. Anyone who’s read Flea knows that he is a passionate, caring person. He throws himself heart and soul into whatever he does. His blog had no details identifying him - or his patients - but now its gone.

Today, another friend, Fat Doctor, felt compelled to do the same thing, when a coworker printed out her blog, and presented FD’s boss with it. He was kind and understanding, telling her that he wouldn’t interfere, but she was so hurt that she took it down anyway.

I want to know why!!! Why would people do something like that? Jealousy on the one hand? Perhaps greed on the other? Maybe it’s the feeling of being able to wield some sort of power over another person by being able to hurt them where they’re tender?

Why is it that those who belong to the profession noted for its service to suffering humanity are not allowed to be tired, have lives of their own, have occasional bad days, not feel well, be in a bad mood, make mistakes, have personal worries, or maintain a blog? Even an anonymous blog?

We live in an age that ridicules all good things. People have become so selfish and self centered that they immediately suspect anyone who appears to care about them. “Ah! He’s a doctor! He only wants me to go see him so he can pay off his Mercedes!” Are we so jaded that we have to snuff out every altruistic thought that has the temerity to appear naked before us?

Aren’t we aware that our physicians are human beings who deserve the same freedoms the rest of us enjoy? Freedom to blog anonymously … freedom to express their opinions publicly … freedom to have something to relax into at the end of a long, harrowing day?

Do we have to take every good thing we find and abuse it until it becomes as bent and twisted as we are?

I hope that both of my friends can come back into the medical blogosphere soon … and that whatever madness is going around dies down quickly!

What goes around, comes around. We’d do well to remember that when taking aim at those who spend their lives in service to others. Not too many of us will go through life without needing to rely on these very same people. Let’s hope that when that time comes, there are are still a few left out there who are willing to take the heat.

Yesterday, Maine had its coldest day on record for the date - ever. Here in the Berwicks, we had a high of 5℉, a negative number low, and wind chills down around -15℉.

I hear that up on Mt. Washington, they went outside and threw buckets of hot water into the air - which instantly came back down as snow.

Now that is cold!

The photo you see to your left is my kitchen window. It was barely letting any light in, because each of the panes were frosted over - almost completely. This morning, the wind had stopped blowing a gale, so the wind chill was no longer that severe … however, as I brushed my teeth, partway through, the water in bathroom sink froze - both the hot and the cold. I’m glad I wasn’t attempting a shower.

We had the joy of facing this cold spell without central heat, in a house that’s over 300 years old … and lets the wind through enough to make it hard to keep a candle lit. During the worst of the wind and cold yesterday, my bathroom went down to 38℉.

Honey, I’ve got a real hankering for spring …

Did I just hear some kind soul offer me some cheese to go with my w(h)ine? I’ll take it! Gratefully! However, I’m going to have to keep it in the fridge … I wouldn’t want it to freeze. *blink*

Thank you for all of the kind emails and inquiries … I thought I’d peek my head out of my hidey-hole and let everyone know that I am, indeed, still kicking.

We’ve had a rather endless seeming run of really unpleasant events lately, and it’s taken quite a bit of our attention.

Before the TNT fiasco had died down, we found ourselves doing battle against what seemed like a horde of ravaging looters. My daughter-in-law inadvertently captured the attention of a group of young people who have no respect for anyone - themselves included. They spent about a week shredding her (and us) to tiny bits across several different blogs/websites which are popular among the young and shallow. They had taken pictures of us from our blogs, and were using them as their ID’s … and discussing, among other things, our “sexual habits” with our pets. People had even begun to post messages using our names, in order to keep the pot bubbling. Toward the end of that week, the harassment had risen to the level of threats and stalking. Contacting those behind the various blogs and web sites had no effect whatsoever, and in fact, made things worse, in some cases. All the while maintaining “radio silence” on our end, we spent several days accumulating all of the information on what was going on, and compiling it onto a CD, with an explanatory cover letter. We sent that information by certified mail to those who own the IP addresses from which the attacks were coming, and to the hosting companies of the blogs/websites involved; then we sent copies of the same information to the local FBI offices of all of the states which were involved. I expect that it could be a while before we’re done with this mess, but now you know what I could only hint at while it was still actively in progress.

Concurrently, my Mother-in-law was also in the hospital, quite ill. She’s home now, but I’m concerned for her. She lets things go for far too long before she goes for help, and doesn’t communicate well with us about how she feels. While we’re up at camp, we don’t see her as often, so it’s hard for me to be able to tell how she’s really doing.

Before we were done with the above situation, my daughter ended up in the hospital with Crohn’s. All in all, she was in the hospital for two weeks, and two days. The original hospital sent her to Yale New Haven for surgery for three fistulas … however, the physicians there decided to not do the surgery, and sent her back to the first place. From what I understand, the surgery will still have to be done … but they want to wait as long as possible before doing it. I’m out of my league here, but I’m concerned about her condition being even more tenuous by the time they decide to do the surgery, since the medication they’re going to put her on will hamper her immune system.

A week ago today, my dear friend and confidant, Dr. Engel, vanished from the internet for the second time in a week. The first time, the problem had been with his computer and internet connection … and I had begun to suspect that the second time was simply a repeat of the first problem. By Tuesday, however, I was getting a bit worried … and I finally gave in to my concern, and began to try to call him. It took me several days to track him down. He had apparently been sick, but was feeling a bit better, and ready to go home. He spent one night at home, and before I could send him a “welcome home” email in the morning, I received one from him: he was ill again, but with something else. That was on Friday. Those of you who are praying types, please keep him in mind. If I’m able to, I’ll pass along whatever info I’m allowed.

Finally, in the last several days, I was becoming concerned with what was happening to blogsplot.net’s bandwidth. It had gone up by quite a few gigs in the last month, and I couldn’t understand where it was all going. I began to spend some time looking over the server’s log files, and discovered that several large music web sites in China had direct-linked to my music, and that a load of individuals, mostly from “MySpace,” had direct-linked to photos and graphics on my blog, and were using it as their backgrounds, and so on. So - whenever anyone visited their MySpace blog, it would steal my bandwidth. I plugged all of the leaks, but I can see that it’s going to be a full time job keeping them corked up! If you run across a song, or a graphic, that no longer works, refresh your page … it could be that I just changed the name, and your cache is accessing it at its old location. Please be patient with me while I put my thinking cap on and try to work out some more permanent solutions … without limiting what I can include on my blog.

There’s more news … including my chef son and I taking on a new educational escapade together … while I continue with my current education. I hope the hard drive between my ears doesn’t fill up … *blink!*

Those of you who have emailed me - even as far back as a month ago - if I still haven’t responded, don’t give up on me. Your email is still in my inbox, and I’m still picking away at the unanswered emails. There are a few conversations I was engaged in with various people … I haven’t forgotten you either.

I’m going to post again before the day is over … on a more cheerful note. Someone sent me a free sample of something I seriously enjoyed … and all I have to do is tell everyone about it. Works for me! ;o)

We’re getting a lot of questions about what’s going on with Sarah and all of her blogs … we’re going to have to ask all of you to be patient for now, because we really can’t get into it publicly until we’re sure it’s OK to do so. There are bad things going on in other parts of the net, and we’re observing a temporary “radio silence.”

I promise that we’ll spill the beans as soon as we’re allowed.