What a strange coincidence…I was just roaming around your blog here, since I always seem to find something interesting or familiar…and it happened again! Don’t know if this has ever come up in my messages either here or at the BMH site, but I am exceedingly familiar with a condition that is a “cousin” to Asperger’s, nonverbal learning disability. It is not a formally recognized diagnosis like AS (*yet*), but it’s been described extensively in the literature if you know where to look. As a matter of fact I’ve written about it in a book that involved individuals with both conditions. I can completely second the notion that people have very limited understanding of these kinds of conditions…which poses more problems sometimes than the conditions themselves! Now you’ve piqued my curiosity…can you say more about what it’s like to live with these AS guys? It would be an interesting look at the other side, since I’m far more likely to understand the Aspie end than the “NT” (aka “normal”, whatever that means!) end.

If you should decide to being blogging, please be kind enough to let me know. I would dearly love to follow your blog – it would help me to better understand my husband and sons. Thank you!

I wouldn’t normally post on a topic that was several months old, but since you ask…

I agreed with pretty much everything you said. I am an aspie, married to an aspie, and have 3 kids: one who is most definitely aspie, one who is on the border, and one who is not. The one who is not was very hard to parent, he was definitely a party animal, did badly in school, and got into a lot of substance abuse and legal problems. The one on the border was a joy to parent, did great in school, got a degree in molecular biology (yes, another molecular biologist!), got married, and is living a happy and productive life. The most aspergian of the bunch is still young, but is another easy kid, with strong interests in physics and chemistry. Not that he gets any love from his teachers, his math and reading were at 7th grade level when he was in 3rd grade, which *annoyed* the local schools; they had no idea what to do with him since his social skills were nowhere near 7th grade level. So they basically blew him off, and he’s spent a year and a half as a home schooler.

As for us adults, we’re both scientists. I had a bit of a hard time focusing on university at times, but got through it. My wife was a National Merit Scholar, and has never attended a school that didn’t award her at least honors. She inherited her aspie traits from her dad, who is a really exceptional MD, so I think it’s safe to say that the aspie types in the family are all “college material.” It’s the relatively normal ones who have had problems.

Anyway, there’s your feedback: strong approval!

There’s quite a bit that can be said about AS, and the related CAD … and I know that I should be writing about both. That I know of, there are no real supports in place for AS families here in the states. There seem to be places that will diagnose AS, but not treat it, much less treat the family – or the non-AS family members who have CAD. There’s a great void here in the states which desperately needs to be filled.

The reality of AS, especially if it is undiagnosed for years, can be devastating to all of the members of an affected family – both those with AS, and those without. It can be a terrifying thing to know that there’s no place to turn.

I have to wonder where we should begin …

What a post–full of thought and heart! I had to learn about Asperger Syndrome when it appeared in my extended family some years ago.

I am reminded of the many different conditions people can have that affect their lives and those of others. Yet what often causes huge difficulties is that they “look normal.” It goes something like this:

He looks normal, and if he looks look normal, he should be normal; he’s putting on an act. In fact he’s doing it just to bug me.

We need to remind ourselves that if someone has a condition that makes life more difficult for them, that difficulty is overlain on all the usual human difficulties we all face in life. The person with Aspergers is first and foremost a human being with hopes and dreams like the rest of us. (Now I’m getting steamed up!)

Thanks for tackling this, Moof.
Neill

You’ve proven that you’re very compassionate and concerned about those who are having hard times. AS people, although they can also be compassionate and concerned when confronted with other people’s problems … are more likely to feel that the situation simply doesn’t have anything to do with them. It’s not really selfishness on the part of an AS person, but more the fact that if they can’t see a connection back to themselves, that they don’t feel “involved,” and may feel that it’s none of their business. It would not be something they would focus on.

But – like with anything else – they are, first and foremost, individuals. Some are better at making those indirect social connections than other.

If there are any Aspies reading this thread, I would dearly love to have some feedback.

You were the one who first introduced me to Asperger’s syndrome.

It has since often crossed my mind if maybe that is part of what “ails” me.

Especially since I do seem to have many of those same social difficulties.

I truly can relate to those descriptions of the Asperger patient.

I hope that you are warm and doing well.

later…