Asperger Syndrome
A few days ago, Ripple of Hope sent me an email. She included some links to posts that she wanted me to take a look at over at the “Angry Professor’s” Blog. The two posts related to a student who has Asperger Syndrome, and while I was rather put off by the professor’s tone, what really caught my attention was one of the comments on the second post:
I’m sorry, but you might consider not sending a person like this to college at all. Nothing wrong with his intelligence, but his strengths might lie in the path of a skilled trade. Those jobs can’t be outsourced, and may be a source of more concrete (pun intended) satisfaction in the long haul.
As I read that comment, I felt my mercurial blood pressure rising to dangerous levels. I actually had to fold my lap top, get up, and walk away for a few minutes. That’s not something that happens to me very often.
In her email, Ripple of Hope had this to say: “I thought this was pretty ignorant, but rather than start some stupid argument in the comment section, I thought I might change my post on Aspergers to something more educational regarding what Aspies really look like and how they are as different from one another as any other individual. Perhaps we could take a shot at this together? Let me know what you think . . . “
Her request was a bit of an “Oh oh!” moment for me. Although I’ve dealt with difficult subjects before, Asperger Syndrome is just not something I write about in my public blog. My husband and both of my youngest sons have Asperger Syndrome, and it’s had a profound effect on all of us.
However, as difficult as it is for me to write about AS from my own perspective, I knew that it would be wrong to not stand up and correct the record.
OASIS describes Asperger Syndrome in the following way:
Asperger Syndrome or (Asperger’s Disorder) is a neurobiological disorder named for a Viennese physician, Hans Asperger, who in 1944 published a paper which described a pattern of behaviors in several young boys who had normal intelligence and language development, but who also exhibited autistic-like behaviors and marked deficiencies in social and communication skills. In spite of the publication of his paper in the 1940’s, it wasn’t until 1994 that Asperger Syndrome was added to the DSM IV and only in the past few years has AS been recognized by professionals and parents.
Individuals with AS can exhibit a variety of characteristics and the disorder can range from mild to severe. Persons with AS show marked deficiencies in social skills, have difficulties with transitions or changes and prefer sameness. They often have obsessive routines and may be preoccupied with a particular subject of interest. They have a great deal of difficulty reading nonverbal cues (body language) and very often the individual with AS has difficulty determining proper body space. Often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights, the person with AS may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see. It’s important to remember that the person with AS perceives the world very differently. Therefore, many behaviors that seem odd or unusual are due to those neurological differences and not the result of intentional rudeness or bad behavior, and most certainly not the result of “improper parenting”.
By definition, those with AS have a normal IQ and many individuals (although not all), exhibit exceptional skill or talent in a specific area. Because of their high degree of functionality and their naiveté, those with AS are often viewed as eccentric or odd and can easily become victims of teasing and bullying. While language development seems, on the surface, normal, individuals with AS often have deficits in pragmatics and prosody. Vocabularies may be extraordinarily rich and some children sound like “little professors.” However, persons with AS can be extremely literal and have difficulty using language in a social context.
My three “Aspies” fit that description in more or less classic ways. First of all, the three of them are exceptionally intelligent individuals. My husband graduated at the top of his company of 300 when he was in the service, and I have yet to find a subject, obscure or otherwise, that he’s not knowledgeable about. His oldest natural son is a computer wizard, artist, chef, who graduated summa cum laude from college. Although computer science isn’t what he learned in college, he’s teaching me more about the Linux Command Line and computer components than my CIS course is. Our youngest son, also an artist, (he was recently tapped by the Discovery Channel for the use of his terraforming graphics for a mars documentary) scored in the 97th percentile for the Social Sciences, and 95th percentile for the Biological Sciences for the entire US when he took his HS graduation test. He’s now a molecular biologist, working for an international company. These men are all three college material.
As far as behavior, the two oldest children from my first marriage were a real handful. They were difficult students, sometimes disruptive, often in hot water, making all of the wrong associations, and paying far too little attention to the scholastic aspect of school … they were the reason I took them all out of school, and homeschooled them. I was trying to do a “course correction,” because they were definitely heading down the wrong path. The younger two, both AS, were quiet and studious – and still are. There were never the “party animals” that their half siblings were. My “course correction” didn’t do much for my rebellious older children, but it polished my younger two into real gentlemen. Both of them joined the Knights of Columbus as soon as they were old enough, and the oldest one serves as an acting deacon at church.
People who have Asperger Syndrome are regular people. They get married, they hold jobs, they have likes and dislikes … and they are individuals. You will find some who are patient, and some who aren’t … some who like attention, and some who don’t … some who are good students, and some who aren’t … some who are disruptive, and others who are quiet and studious. You’ve probably met hundreds of them, and not been aware that they had AS – and I’m including those of you who are in medicine in that statement. I believe that the high level functioning autistic spectrum disorders are drastically under-diagnosed here in the states.
To take one disruptive individual who is unfortunate enough to have AS, and hold him up as an example of the Syndrome itself is not only unkind, it’s absurd – and misleading.
It’s not right to categorize people – not by race, sex, age, religion – or illness. Let individuals categorize themselves by their behavior – and be smart enough to learn from the experience of dealing with them, but put the blame where it belongs: on an individual person’s behavior.
Yes, there are conditions that intrinsically cause behavior problems – BPD, for example. But even then – you almost can’t blame the individual, considering that they’re sick, and most likely are not in full control of their behavior.
The “Angry Professor” redeems herself a bit in the second post when she says:
I no longer view Hans as a huge pain in my ass. I can see a big, goofy sweetheart in there. I am happy now; I feel like a real shit when I dislike a student.
I’m glad she’s happy, and no longer sees the student as a pain in the derrière … the unfortunate thing is that the tone of the first post provided the conditions for ignorant and unkind comments like the one I quoted above.
There’s a trite saying which holds a great deal of truth, well worth recalling, when preparing to make disparaging comments about people with illnesses or conditions they did not choose …
Please see Ripple of Hope’s cross post on Asperger Syndrome.
Also, Liz from “I Speak of Dreams” has written about the same issue: Asperger’s From the Other Side
Asperger’s Syndrome on Answers.com
Aspen
Asperger Marriage Web Site
DSM IV Diagnostic Criteria
FAAAS
N.I.N.D.S.
For more links, see ~ Asperger Syndrome ~ in my right side bar.
Defend your blog from theft!
February 19th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Moof, there’s a third chapter at A Gentleman’s C. I wrote about it:
Now comes the news that Hans is failing the course, but refuses to withdraw:
February 19th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Liz, Hans’ refusal to drop the course isn’t due to his AS. He is still an individual, and individuals of all types will always make poor choices. I wrote about this topic as well.
February 20th, 2007 at 1:29 am
Hi Moof,
I thought this was a very interesting post. You certainly have lots of experience with AS and are eminently qualified to write about it. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I haven’t mastered the blogroll yet, but you have been on my bloglines feed for quite a while. You have a great site.
Regards
jmb
February 20th, 2007 at 3:16 am
There’s a trite saying which holds a great deal of truth, well worth recalling, when preparing to make disparaging comments about people with illnesses or conditions they did not choose …
It’s hard to make a sweeping generalization, especially those who can’t defend for themselves – sufferers, victims.
Good post!
*acid rain…acid [ascerbic] tongue…acid pen/keyboard? :)*
February 20th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Hi Moof,
I’ve always wondered about the Aspergers-related links on your blogroll but never bothered to ask you about them.
This post explains things.
I agree with you totally.
Regards,
Vijay.
February 21st, 2007 at 7:43 am
Hi Moof. When I read the quote from the beginning of this post my jaw dropped. It’s my job to see that these kids succeed. They work hard, and I work hard to help them with the issues they face. They are intelligent. I had one boy that was such a whiz in math, and when I told him how proud I was of him, he just beamed. We did have to discuss the weather every day, but it was cute to me. He so enjoyed all the wonder when it snowed, not unlike the other 22 students.:)
February 22nd, 2007 at 3:51 am
Moofie,
Thanks for the lesson and education. I am much more knowledgeable about AS now because of you, as are many other people fortunate enough to read your blog.
February 23rd, 2007 at 9:55 am
Moof,
I was not even aware of AS until now.
However, as I read the symptoms, I realize that you were describing a normal individual. Tell me, how many of us do not have our own idiosyncrasies? Most of the symptoms you described, even fits me, or my husband, or my three year old daughter. And considering your children turned out great individuals, I wonder if AS is merely another medical term to discriminate some people who may have social skills different from what we have been conditioned to accept as “normal”?
February 23rd, 2007 at 12:35 pm
Hi Moof: Sorry I haven’t dropped by for a while and apologize. Anyway, this was a really interesting posting, and an informative one, and I commend you for dispelling some myths. A couple of years ago I interviewed a young woman — she was about 16 — who had Aspergers. The story had nothing to do with the condition, but I liked her very much and very quickly because she was so honest and forthright and showed no signs of normal adolescent shyness in dealing with me, a virtual stranger. The interview went quite enchantingly. She was also an honor student, I might add.
Of course a TV character who has mild Aspergers is Bobby Goren on Law&Order CI, and the show illustrates his brilliance in cutting to the chase and not wasting time with normal formalities but instead effectively ‘intruding.’ Not really a bad trait in a dishonest world.
Glad I paid a call. Best wishes to you.
Ian
February 23rd, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Lakshmi, thanks for a chance to elaborate.
Those who have AS are incapable of making the social “connections” that other people are, although some of them eventually learn the proper responses to certain interactions. To varying degrees, they cannot recognize other people’s body language or facial expressions … and many are unable to “connect” with other people on an emotional level – at all.
An AS person cannot tell when they’re invading another person’s space, and unless they’ve had some counseling, most often can’t tell what sort of things are proper or improper to say to/ask of a stranger – and have no idea of why those things are not appropriate. They can come across as gauche, clueless, or pathologically insensitive and cold, but that’s not necessarily what’s going on inside.
Some “Aspies” don’t have a lot of feelings – are pretty numb on the inside as a running thing, do not understand what causes certain emotions … and cannot relate to what another person is feeling in any way – never having experienced it themselves. Others can feel the emotions, but can’t express them, and can’t recognize them when someone else is expressing them. The latter have a high suicide rate.
There’s a wide difference between someone who truly is insensitive (a man who beats his wife, for example) and a person who has Asperger Syndrome. One knows full well what he’s doing, and will try to justify his behavior … the other actually has no clue that there’s a problem with his behavior.
We all have some social difficulties, whether we have AS or not, but our problems are from our past experiences, acquired attitudes, or are part of our innate character, but fall within certain norms in quantity and severity. Those who have AS innately have a preponderance of those “social difficulties,” and those characteristics do not fall within non-AS norms in quantity and severity.
Lakshmi, believe me, those who do not have AS, and who live in an “Aspie” family can tell that there’s a difference, and also – especially before the Asperger Syndrome is diagnosed – often go on to develop some rather unpleasant problems of their own. But that’s for another post … or maybe even a different blog. I’m not too keen on writing about that aspect of AS on my public blog.
Take a look at the links I’ve provided, especially the FAAAS link. Here is a quote from that website:
Perhaps, someday, I’ll have the courage to write about undiagnosed AS family life, and my own consequent struggle with CAD. I’m not quite there yet, though.
February 23rd, 2007 at 8:40 pm
Amazing how so many do not fully understand Asperger’s.
February 24th, 2007 at 11:34 pm
Hey Moof…
You were the one who first introduced me to Asperger’s syndrome.
It has since often crossed my mind if maybe that is part of what “ails” me.
Especially since I do seem to have many of those same social difficulties.
I truly can relate to those descriptions of the Asperger patient.
I hope that you are warm and doing well.
later…
February 25th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
TJ, they say that AS is a genetic disorder … so if you haven’t felt that way for as long as you can remember, you probably don’t have AS. You always have left me with the feeling that you “connect” with what a person is feeling, but that you don’t care for silliness … and that’s not AS.
You’ve proven that you’re very compassionate and concerned about those who are having hard times. AS people, although they can also be compassionate and concerned when confronted with other people’s problems … are more likely to feel that the situation simply doesn’t have anything to do with them. It’s not really selfishness on the part of an AS person, but more the fact that if they can’t see a connection back to themselves, that they don’t feel “involved,” and may feel that it’s none of their business. It would not be something they would focus on.
But – like with anything else – they are, first and foremost, individuals. Some are better at making those indirect social connections than other.
If there are any Aspies reading this thread, I would dearly love to have some feedback.
February 27th, 2007 at 10:23 pm
Moof, thank you for the description.
I am so impressed that you can even come out and talk so much about this. You are one brave woman.
Yes, whenever you have won over what remains of the discomfort, do write more. At least to educate people like me who sometimes get so buried in the quicksand of imagined, unnecessary and unimportant emotions, what reality is really like.
February 27th, 2007 at 11:02 pm
Hello Moof,
What a post–full of thought and heart! I had to learn about Asperger Syndrome when it appeared in my extended family some years ago.
I am reminded of the many different conditions people can have that affect their lives and those of others. Yet what often causes huge difficulties is that they “look normal.” It goes something like this:
We need to remind ourselves that if someone has a condition that makes life more difficult for them, that difficulty is overlain on all the usual human difficulties we all face in life. The person with Aspergers is first and foremost a human being with hopes and dreams like the rest of us. (Now I’m getting steamed up!)
Thanks for tackling this, Moof.
Neill
March 1st, 2007 at 2:32 am
I just wanted to say that people have left such kind comments on this post that I’m not sure how to address them. I want to thank everyone for all of the kind words.
There’s quite a bit that can be said about AS, and the related CAD … and I know that I should be writing about both. That I know of, there are no real supports in place for AS families here in the states. There seem to be places that will diagnose AS, but not treat it, much less treat the family – or the non-AS family members who have CAD. There’s a great void here in the states which desperately needs to be filled.
The reality of AS, especially if it is undiagnosed for years, can be devastating to all of the members of an affected family – both those with AS, and those without. It can be a terrifying thing to know that there’s no place to turn.
I have to wonder where we should begin …
March 17th, 2007 at 11:21 am
one of my fav. quotes – “there for the grace of g-d.” Great post!!
thanks for adding me to yr. links, i was just adding you as well.
September 14th, 2007 at 11:47 pm
“If there are any Aspies reading this thread, I would dearly love to have some feedback.”
I wouldn’t normally post on a topic that was several months old, but since you ask…
I agreed with pretty much everything you said. I am an aspie, married to an aspie, and have 3 kids: one who is most definitely aspie, one who is on the border, and one who is not. The one who is not was very hard to parent, he was definitely a party animal, did badly in school, and got into a lot of substance abuse and legal problems. The one on the border was a joy to parent, did great in school, got a degree in molecular biology (yes, another molecular biologist!), got married, and is living a happy and productive life. The most aspergian of the bunch is still young, but is another easy kid, with strong interests in physics and chemistry. Not that he gets any love from his teachers, his math and reading were at 7th grade level when he was in 3rd grade, which *annoyed* the local schools; they had no idea what to do with him since his social skills were nowhere near 7th grade level. So they basically blew him off, and he’s spent a year and a half as a home schooler.
As for us adults, we’re both scientists. I had a bit of a hard time focusing on university at times, but got through it. My wife was a National Merit Scholar, and has never attended a school that didn’t award her at least honors. She inherited her aspie traits from her dad, who is a really exceptional MD, so I think it’s safe to say that the aspie types in the family are all “college material.” It’s the relatively normal ones who have had problems.
Anyway, there’s your feedback: strong approval!
September 15th, 2007 at 12:25 am
S.H. … your comment was a joy to read. Thank you so much! It was very affirming! It’s also wonderful to think of you and your wife finding each other, and raising a successful family, like that. I’m under the impression that you’re an older couple, since you’ve mentioned that two of your children are out of school, including college.
If you should decide to being blogging, please be kind enough to let me know. I would dearly love to follow your blog – it would help me to better understand my husband and sons. Thank you!
September 16th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
Moof,
What a strange coincidence…I was just roaming around your blog here, since I always seem to find something interesting or familiar…and it happened again! Don’t know if this has ever come up in my messages either here or at the BMH site, but I am exceedingly familiar with a condition that is a “cousin” to Asperger’s, nonverbal learning disability. It is not a formally recognized diagnosis like AS (*yet*), but it’s been described extensively in the literature if you know where to look. As a matter of fact I’ve written about it in a book that involved individuals with both conditions. I can completely second the notion that people have very limited understanding of these kinds of conditions…which poses more problems sometimes than the conditions themselves! Now you’ve piqued my curiosity…can you say more about what it’s like to live with these AS guys? It would be an interesting look at the other side, since I’m far more likely to understand the Aspie end than the “NT” (aka “normal”, whatever that means!) end.