“They don’t think I’m a seeker anymore”
We were gone all day today – up in Portland, meeting with some old friends. It was quite late when I finally got home, and booted up my computer.
As soon as I did, my recently installed Skype program began to beep at me. It was my daughter. My heart skipped a beat …
A week ago last Monday, she was admitted to a hospital in Groton, Connecticut – by emergency. She had been sick for a long time, and her husband finally dragged her to the ED. They immediately admitted her. She went through a week of labs, scans and all sorts of tests … met quite a few different doctors … and finally was told that she’s developed three fistulas because of her Crohn’s disease. One from one part of her large intestine to another, one into her bladder, and one into her vagina. She is very, very sick.
She had lost a lot of weight because of the Crohn’s, but is apparently swelling up like a balloon because of medication she’s been given.
She told me: “Moof … they don’t think I’m a ‘seeker‘ anymore … ”
I nearly cried.
They decided not to do the surgery at the hospital she was in, and late today, they transported her to Yale New Haven hospital, where I assume she will have surgery in the next day or two.
Her illness isn’t all she’s going through right now … as some of you know. This is an extremely difficult period for her.
Those of you who are the praying type – please, raise a few for her. She afraid, but still trying so hard to be cheerful, and accepting of whatever she’s being told, and is being done to her. Do you ever really take this sort of thing in stride? I wonder what sort of emotional violence she’s doing to herself in order to maintain her calm exterior …
I will make an update when I get more information on what’s happening.
By the way – the little pictures of the moofs in the top right corner were drawn by my daughter … she’s the creator of “moofs,” and is the one who nicknamed me Moof many many years ago.
Miyazawa Kenji
September 21st, 2006 at 12:53 am
I can only imagine what she’s going through… I feel so bad for her and wish there was something I could do. She will be in my prayers…
September 21st, 2006 at 5:12 am
Oh, Moof. It’s hard if a family member is sick. You know what? I used to post medical news on Fistula. You can read more at fistula.org and read inspiring stories. My heart really was crushed with the stories.
Tell her to have faith for those Ethiopian girls who were cast aside by family and husbands due to their illness, found HOPE. She’ll be in my prayers, Moof. Bless her!
Take care both of you. {{{huggzzz}}}
September 21st, 2006 at 5:24 am
I am sorry your daughter (and you) are going through this. She will be in my Prayers. As you will be too! Take care of you!
September 21st, 2006 at 8:00 am
Also Moof, when you get a chance and have time, stop by my blog for a minute. Iam hoping you will do this with me.
September 21st, 2006 at 8:26 am
I’m praying for her, Moof . . . ((hugs))
September 21st, 2006 at 8:47 am
Moof…
You and your daughter are in my thoughts. I hope the next few days bring unexpected peace and calm.
September 21st, 2006 at 8:52 am
Moof, what’s her full name? I’ll see if they’ll say a “refuah shelemah” for her in shul this weekend (Rosh Hashanah! extra special occasion for get-well prayers!)
Flea
September 21st, 2006 at 9:28 am
Moof,
She did not need this on top of everything else she is going through. I am so sorry to hear this is happening. Please know that she, her family, and all of you are in my thoughts.
September 21st, 2006 at 10:52 am
moof, i definately will send out good vibes and prayers for her. i really loved your quote as well. We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. how so true.
September 21st, 2006 at 11:26 am
What a difficult illness Crohn’s is: it’s among the greatest surgical challenges. On the other hand, surgery can make a very unwell person feel very well again. I’ll be thinking about both of you.
September 21st, 2006 at 12:10 pm
I will be praying for her and the rest of your family!! i think the thing that keeps her going at this point moof is the docs don’t think she’s a seeker anymore… and for her valadation is a calming effect.. no matter how bad it gets at least now they don’t think she’s making it up…
hugs and prayers..
September 21st, 2006 at 3:25 pm
Dear Moff, I second what wolfbaby says, I too was thought to be a seeker until I was finally diagnosed. Once the validation happened and I didn’t have to fight for that as well as my health, I was able to direct my energies where they were needed…to healing body and soul.
My prayers and thoughts are with you and yours.
September 21st, 2006 at 5:27 pm
You are both in my prayers. Speaking as one who’s had unspeakable chronic pain, your support, even if you can’t fix it and don’t know what to say is important. She’s blessed to have you.
September 21st, 2006 at 7:07 pm
Included in my prayers without question. What a wretched thing, and may the surgery resolve what it needs to resolve.
To her recovery,
Ian
September 21st, 2006 at 9:39 pm
Chron’s is such a devastating disease. Lifting your daughter up for a safe and successful surgery, and lifting you and the rest of your family so that you may be the support and comfort that she needs. God bless you.
September 21st, 2006 at 10:29 pm
My prayers and thoughts are with you.
September 21st, 2006 at 10:43 pm
I will be praying.
September 22nd, 2006 at 4:30 am
Thoughts and prayers most definitely for your daughter and your family.
September 22nd, 2006 at 1:03 pm
warm thoguths and prayers going your and your daughter’s way moof…
September 22nd, 2006 at 1:11 pm
Moof, my heartfelt prayers go to your daughter and you.
September 22nd, 2006 at 11:48 pm
moof,
been thinking of your daughter a lot these few days, and saying prayers for her – and also prayers of thanks that they know she is truly in pain and not assuming she is ’seeking’ — i have known that feeling, as recent as yesterday, and it is shitty, no matter what it is for.
hugs to you too…
September 23rd, 2006 at 2:27 am
â€We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journeyâ€
Miyazawa Kenji
I will have to think on this quotation.
I will hold your daughter and you in the light. May she be healed of the fistulas.
September 23rd, 2006 at 1:23 pm
I’m praying.
September 23rd, 2006 at 6:24 pm
Praying for your daughter Moof, so glad they don’t think she is a seeker anymore. I can’t imagine how that must of felt. By the way, I wondered where “moof” came from.
September 23rd, 2006 at 8:45 pm
Oh Moof and family,
best wishes and hopes and prayers.
Have some recent experience with my spouse developing fistulas, we hadn’t known what they were or how serious they can become, really fast.
Fingers and toes crossed, Crohn’s is so full of unpredictable twists and turns. Hoping your daughters change for the better really soon.
Hugs.
September 23rd, 2006 at 11:16 pm
My Dear Friend
I am praying!!!
September 24th, 2006 at 9:15 pm
Oh, my friend, I am thinking of you and sending out good thoughts and prayers.
September 26th, 2006 at 2:44 pm
Moof, you and your daughter are in my prayers! Sending good thoughts for a good outcome for your precious daughter.
September 26th, 2006 at 3:34 pm
By the way i didn’t think to say it earlier but would you tell your daughter that her drawings of “moof” are adorable!!!! Take care.. and hugs
September 26th, 2006 at 3:45 pm
moof, i hope all is well. i will continue sending you prayers.
September 26th, 2006 at 9:55 pm
Praying for her speedy recovery. Hope she gets well soon.
September 26th, 2006 at 11:13 pm
Dear Moof,
Praying for you and for an speedy and uneventful recovery.
best,
wv
September 27th, 2006 at 2:44 pm
Hi Moof,
Just checking in. I hope everything is going better for your daughter. You are in my thoughts :)
September 27th, 2006 at 11:14 pm
I’m thinking about you and your daughter. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
September 28th, 2006 at 11:34 pm
Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.