Comments on: If You Could Choose … http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/ Thu, 04 Mar 2010 20:49:21 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: carolyn johnson http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/comment-page-1/#comment-6286 carolyn johnson Sun, 27 Aug 2006 04:37:27 +0000 http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/#comment-6286 This is my first time reading your blog...I just HAVE to add my two cents. For those who think "the long goodbye" is best--I wonder whose interests they are looking out for? Yes, dropping dead is a shock to loved ones. But being diagnosed with Alzheimers, cancer, or Lou Gehrig's is just as big a shock...and then you get to watch the death occur day by day. You see the fear in their eyes, you feel the dread each morning you wake up and remember what is happening. You see their pain, you see their abilities and their personality being taken away. The morphine shots, the bedpans, the hands so bruised, veins collapsed and unable to receive another IV. Do you REALLY think it is that important that you have a chance to say goodbye? If so, I don't think you've had to experience the sights, sounds, smells of living-in-death. I wish my sister had instantaneously been taken, rather than watch her being eaten alive by cancer, dying at age 19. Sorry to be so "dire" but when people complain that they didn't have a chance to say goodbye, I don't think they understand what the alternative could have been. You know who in your life really loves you--and those who have passed on know that you love them, a few parting words don't matter. This is my first time reading your blog…I just HAVE to add my two cents.
For those who think “the long goodbye” is best–I wonder whose interests they are looking out for? Yes, dropping dead is a shock to loved ones. But being diagnosed with Alzheimers, cancer, or Lou Gehrig’s is just as big a shock…and then you get to watch the death occur day by day. You see the fear in their eyes, you feel the dread each morning you wake up and remember what is happening. You see their pain, you see their abilities and their personality being taken away. The morphine shots, the bedpans, the hands so bruised, veins collapsed and unable to receive another IV. Do you REALLY think it is that important that you have a chance to say goodbye? If so, I don’t think you’ve had to experience the sights, sounds, smells of living-in-death. I wish my sister had instantaneously been taken, rather than watch her being eaten alive by cancer, dying at age 19. Sorry to be so “dire” but when people complain that they didn’t have a chance to say goodbye, I don’t think they understand what the alternative could have been. You know who in your life really loves you–and those who have passed on know that you love them, a few parting words don’t matter.

]]> By: Raine http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/comment-page-1/#comment-6250 Raine Fri, 25 Aug 2006 18:53:27 +0000 http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/#comment-6250 I would like just enough time to make arrangements for myself while not traumatizing my family with a long lingering illness. Ideally I would be warned in time to withdraw my life insurance, make arrangements and pay for them, distribute the remains to my kids and then make my departure I would like just enough time to make arrangements for myself while not traumatizing my family with a long lingering illness. Ideally I would be warned in time to withdraw my life insurance, make arrangements and pay for them, distribute the remains to my kids and then make my departure

]]> By: Cathy http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/comment-page-1/#comment-6245 Cathy Fri, 25 Aug 2006 11:33:23 +0000 http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/#comment-6245 Moof, I linked this on my site Moof, I linked this on my site

]]> By: Marianne http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/comment-page-1/#comment-6224 Marianne Thu, 24 Aug 2006 21:23:46 +0000 http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/#comment-6224 My Mother died slowly of cancer. It is terrible to look at your Mother's corpse and be glad that she is dead. My husband's Aunt (who brought him up) died slowly of Alzheimers. I mourned all the losses -- as we became strangers to her, as she lost herself -- and to my surprise I mourned yet again when she died. An Uncle died suddenly (at 89), after cooking lunch for his son -- when my cousin checked on him that evening, he was sitting in his chair . . . way to go! Tell me I have Alzheimers, and I'll set a date to kill myself. My Mother died slowly of cancer. It is terrible to look at your Mother’s corpse and be glad that she is dead.

My husband’s Aunt (who brought him up) died slowly of Alzheimers. I mourned all the losses — as we became strangers to her, as she lost herself — and to my surprise I mourned yet again when she died.

An Uncle died suddenly (at 89), after cooking lunch for his son — when my cousin checked on him that evening, he was sitting in his chair . . . way to go!

Tell me I have Alzheimers, and I’ll set a date to kill myself.

]]> By: kt http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/comment-page-1/#comment-6217 kt Thu, 24 Aug 2006 16:51:33 +0000 http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/#comment-6217 i know this is a hard one to ponder. i would like to think that the slower the death the easier the goodbyes. an instant death is almost too much. reading a book called "year of magical thinking" and the author's husband died suddenly at dinner one night. her book is about that year after the horrible surprise death. i know this is a hard one to ponder. i would like to think that the slower the death the easier the goodbyes. an instant death is almost too much. reading a book called “year of magical thinking” and the author’s husband died suddenly at dinner one night. her book is about that year after the horrible surprise death.

]]> By: radtec http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/comment-page-1/#comment-6216 radtec Thu, 24 Aug 2006 16:22:05 +0000 http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/#comment-6216 Just linked on in here. Very interesting discussion. In all seriousness, and meaning no disrespect, I ask; What does it matter 'how' a person dies? I reserve the right to make the 'big' decision for myself, should I ever feel that need. I wonder why our society fusses so much on the cause of a death. People still shake their heads when it's 'cancer', the big C! Anyone who dies of cancer of course either brought it on themselves by not living right or were 'cursed' with it at a young age before they could make the 'wrong moves'. Sorry. Not trying to be obtuse or hijack the thread. Death and dieing in the west is so jacked up!! Have a good day! Just linked on in here. Very interesting discussion. In all seriousness, and meaning no disrespect, I ask;

What does it matter ‘how’ a person dies?

I reserve the right to make the ‘big’ decision for myself, should I ever feel that need. I wonder why our society fusses so much on the cause of a death. People still shake their heads when it’s ‘cancer’, the big C! Anyone who dies of cancer of course either brought it on themselves by not living right or were ‘cursed’ with it at a young age before they could make the ‘wrong moves’.

Sorry. Not trying to be obtuse or hijack the thread. Death and dieing in the west is so jacked up!!

Have a good day!

]]> By: Sid Schwab http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/comment-page-1/#comment-6214 Sid Schwab Thu, 24 Aug 2006 15:36:32 +0000 http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/#comment-6214 Very thoughtful comments. I've seen it both ways: miserable as it is either way, my observation (not a long series) is that having some warning makes it easier for those left behind to accept and adjust. I can't generalize. I feel like I'd prefer to know what's coming and allow people to be prepared. And maybe even -- apropos a previous thread -- have the opportunity to pick the time. It is, of course highly theoretical. We can't choose in advance. But if the fates give us warning, it does allow the possibility of at least a small range of choices. Very thoughtful comments. I’ve seen it both ways: miserable as it is either way, my observation (not a long series) is that having some warning makes it easier for those left behind to accept and adjust. I can’t generalize. I feel like I’d prefer to know what’s coming and allow people to be prepared. And maybe even — apropos a previous thread — have the opportunity to pick the time.

It is, of course highly theoretical. We can’t choose in advance. But if the fates give us warning, it does allow the possibility of at least a small range of choices.

]]> By: Cathy http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/comment-page-1/#comment-6191 Cathy Wed, 23 Aug 2006 23:43:45 +0000 http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/#comment-6191 ok, now I can see what happened. Thanks for your explanation. ok, now I can see what happened. Thanks for your explanation.

]]> By: Moof http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/comment-page-1/#comment-6175 Moof Wed, 23 Aug 2006 12:08:27 +0000 http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/#comment-6175 Cathy, yes, this is the post I submitted. I think that Dr. Charles got confused ... since the Alzheimer's and Suicide was last week's submission. I know that the subject is similar ... perhaps he thought it was more of the same ... Cathy, yes, this is the post I submitted. I think that Dr. Charles got confused … since the Alzheimer’s and Suicide was last week’s submission. I know that the subject is similar … perhaps he thought it was more of the same …

]]> By: Cathy http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/comment-page-1/#comment-6168 Cathy Wed, 23 Aug 2006 09:44:28 +0000 http://moof.blogsplot.net/2006/08/19/choice-of-death/#comment-6168 Moof, did grand Rounds link to your right post? I was reading here and it looked like the last couple commenters were answering your questions and post about suicide and alz. Then I realized that your entry at grand rounds was linked to this post instaed of that one. Moof, did grand Rounds link to your right post? I was reading here and it looked like the last couple commenters were answering your questions and post about suicide and alz. Then I realized that your entry at grand rounds was linked to this post instaed of that one.

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